literature

A Black + White Affair

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Literature Text

I first spotted him in the black room wearing a white shirt and silver tie.  It was only his reflection in the mirror in front of me, but it had me hiding behind my best friend; a girl half my size.  “Just order a damned beer and say hello,” Leigh told me.  “If there’s an awkward silence, take a swig.”

I could hardly keep an alcoholic beverage down, but it was the only advice I had, so I nervously ordered a local brew and whispered Carpe Diem as I removed the cap.  It was more of a prayer.  I whispered it so softly that not even a hound could catch the sentiment.  For every second I delayed approaching him, I found I had less to say.  Leigh shoved me onto the marble dance floor impatiently.  

“Russell,” I said firmly, placing my hand on his shoulder.

“Soraya?” He responded in shock.  “What are you doing here?”

I deflated slightly at the question.  I wanted the answer to be obvious; I was submerging myself into the nightlife.  I was fitting, elegantly, into his world of fancy bottles and loose hips.  “I’m here with a friend of mine actually,” I said, hoping that mentioning my friends would give me some sort of credibility.  

“Who?  Do I know them?”

“No, I don’t believe you do,” I told him, sipping casually at my beer and trying my best not to spit out a carbonated waterfall.  “Let me introduce you two.  She’s at the bar.”

I walked mechanically to the bar, all my muscles tensed and fighting every step.  When I left my house for the night, I curled my hair, put on a bright red lipstick, and a beige trench coat.  When I left my house for the night I felt like a magnificent femme fatale from the 1920’s.  With Russell walking two steps behind me, I felt small.  “My friend Alyssa is at the bar as well,” he said as we walked across the dance floor.

“Stephan’s girlfriend?”

“You know her?”

“I’ve met her once.  It was the night you had the big bonfire at the beach.  An introduction is probably a good idea.”

Everything about Alyssa was anxious, from her darting eyes to her hurried speech.  Her hair, usually a long, golden stream down her back, was pulled tightly into a bun at the top of her head.  The pastel clothes she wore muted themselves to accentuate her glowing cheeks.  It was as though she came straight off the cover of Russian Vogue and landed, disturbed and neurotic, in Toronto’s nightlife.  

“Alyssa and I are heading to another bar.  Do you and your friend want to come?” Russell asked.  

I looked at Leigh with begging eyes.  She nodded and before I knew it we threw ourselves into the February air.  “Stephan left me after two years.  It’s not like I care though,” Alyssa told me as we walked through the marketplace in the dark.  The amount of effort she put into her apathy did little to disguise her restlessness.  

“It’s a long time to be with someone,” I commented.

Russell stopped walking altogether so that he could light his cigarette without any hassle from the winter winds.  Leigh walked behind Alyssa to avoid being dragged into her frantic conversation.  Alyssa pulled me close and released her warm breath into my cold ears. “Do you like Russell?”

No one had ever asked me this question before and it scared me.  Aside from my mother’s teasing years ago, no one had brought up the topic, and I did my best not to think about it.  “No way,” I lied blatantly, worried that my actions said otherwise.  “We’ve known each other since we were kids.  Our moms were pregnant together.”

“That’s good…because I really like him,” she admitted.  

It was painful to hear.  I didn’t expect her words to wrench at my insides the way they did.  Melodrama kept trying to throw me onto my knees.  The voice in my head told me that it was okay to fall--okay to scream and kick and cry in heartbreaking fury.  I thought about how romantic it would be if my tears turned into ice on my cheeks.  How sad it would be to scrape them away before they were seen--to cast them on the ground for Russell to step on as he walked.  

But I didn’t cry.  I didn’t scream.  I didn’t flinch.  “He’s all yours,” I assured her.  All my thoughts hissed and spit venomously as I spoke.  Leigh grunted behind me.  Alyssa was too consumed in her plans to make Russell her rebound to hear the sound of disapproval.

“I’ll take Russell and you can have Florian.  He’s hot!”  Her green eyes glistened with a vengeful cunning.  

I nodded, defeated, and tucked my red scarf into my coat to fend off the chills that come from giving up on the thing you want most.  Russell’s long strides caught us with ease, and the four of us walked side by side in silence until we reached the bar.  

The night passed by in a rush.  Russell introduced Leigh and me to a few sprightly characters and, to Alyssa’s delight, Florian.  Florian was a tall, Irish fellow with an orange beard and a ponytail.  “Florian,” Russell said.  “This is arguably one of my oldest friends.  We’ve known each other since we were in diapers.”

I blushed at the introduction.  “And this is my dearest friend, Leigh,” I said in an effort not to appear mute.  

While Florian spoke, Alyssa dragged Russell away from us and into the madness.  Leigh and I spotted him here and there throughout the night.  He was either buying drinks or warding off Alyssa’s advances.  Russell once told me he didn’t have morals, but I had caught him in a moment of humanity; he wouldn’t sleep with his best friend’s ex girlfriend.  

“You’re pathetic, you know?”  Leigh said while we were alone on the dance floor.

“No, I just don’t want to compete,” I explained.

“No, you just didn’t want to take a risk!”  She scolded.

I rolled my eyes.  “He wouldn’t go for me, Leigh!”

“Soraya,” Leigh said sharply.  Her eyes held mine captive as she spoke.  “If Alyssa didn’t think you were competition, she wouldn’t have asked you whether or not you liked Russell.”

“Well it’s too late to change my answer.  Now what?”

“A drink or five,” Leigh concluded, shaking her head and pulling me by the wrist towards the bar.  
Just a rough draft of something I don't even know if I want to finish. It happened to me. Names have been changed, but everyone is real. I should maybe develop Leigh's character more. She's a badass (in case you couldn't figure that out). Sigh.
© 2012 - 2024 Hey-Ocean
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IyraEMM's avatar
This was very enjoyable :) I hardly read prose but I was very intrigued. I don't know how you would finish it, it seems nice the way it is.

This was a very good line, "I thought about how romantic it would be if my tears turned into ice on my cheeks. How sad it would be to scrape them away before they were seen--to cast them on the ground for Russell to step on as he walked."

Leigh does seem slightly badass, she reminds me of this character, Stacy, who I make up in my head sometimes, haha.